"ooh this seems like a nice fanfic to rea-"
It begins by cos-tam
this gif is my fucking favorite thing in the world, the way Misha turns around expecting a normal sized human
Why is there a moose in my space
expecting a normal sized human
a normal sized human
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“This image best describes what is happening in Gaza. Gaza is the world’s largest open-air prison. Even calling the action against Palestinians in Gaza a war seems lacking in description. A war implies some equality in combat. What is happening in Gaza is a massacre by one of the world’s most powerful armies, abetted by the silence of western nations.”
So here it is: chapter one of the Punk!Lucifer college AU in which Michael and Lucifer meet for the first time twice, under very different circumstances.
Friday night had rolled around again and just like every previous week found Lucifer hanging out at the local bar. He wasn’t looking to hook up with anyone-he didn’t have time for a relationship until after quarter finals at least, not to mention he was gay and most of the people who hit on him at the bar were women. Mostly he was bored.
Sometimes he got comments about his ‘punk’ look, complete with leather jacket, diamond earring, and studded leather boots. Today was one of those days.
The girl who sat down next to him had a similar look, with a form fitting leather jacket and extreme colorful makeup. Immediately she complimented his style, earning a half-hearted, “Thanks,” in return. But she didn’t give up that easily. Lucifer found himself bombarded with random questions that he tried to deflect.
THERE IT IS
Who kills the bugs: Lucifer is an actual weenie about bugs can u see it (he’d probably be stoned too and lemme tell you spiders are scary enough without weed okay) he’d be like “Michaaaeeeeeeeel, there’s a spider on the wall.” And Michael would just stand in the middle of the room and give Lucifer this unamused look because he doesn’t approve of Lucifer’s weed smoking habits and eventually he’d just move the spider closer to Lucifer and walk away. Lucifer screeches.
Who hogs the sheets: Lucifer is a big gross blanket hog and Michael gets so mad and tries to tear them back away. Michael gets more blankets and Lucifer still manages to steel them all.
Who hates mornings: Lucifer is a morning person but not a five am morning person like Michael and Lucifer is like “Michael I don’t want to go jogging with you go AWAY”
Who’s cranky before they had their coffee: Micha micha micha uwu Lucifer likes coffee sometimes but doesn’t really need it in the morning, he naturally wakes up at a reasonable hour.
Who’s doesn’t like their mother in law: Er…..awkwardly have the same mom….
Who drives: Both, but Lucifer isn’t very good at it. Sometimes Michael doesn’t notice he’s stoned until they’re in the car and Luce is like “Woah…I’m going so fast…holy shit.” “Lucifer you’re going like 30 miles per hour…youRRE HIGH”
Who gets horny in awkward public places: LUCIFER AND HE JUST PUTS HIS FUCKING DICK ON MICHAEL WHO’S LIKE “WHAT ARE YOU DOING”
Who had a scene phase: Scene phase try grunge phase wait Luicfer never grew out of it he still thinks it’s 93 and kurt cobain is alive. He’s worn the same ripped up jeans since he was a teenager and michael HATES it
Who wore braces: Micahel doesn’t like to talk about when he had braces and was slightly less attractive because of it.
Who got bullied: Michael because, much like his baby brother Cas, he’s a NERD
Who collects ceramic elephants: Michael and Lucifer hides them. It infuriates Michael.
Michifer Amnesia AU
In which Michael is in a car accident that was Lucifer’s fault.
Michael goes through spells of remembering and forgetting. Often times while they’re out together.
Lucifer doesn’t take it too well.
Boromir dies to save Merry and Pippin.
The hobbits are later freed from the orcs because Eomer attacked
Pippin goes on to save Faramir’s life
And Merry to save Eowyn’s.
Faramir and Eowyn then fall in love
Thanks to Eomer and Boromir saving the hobbits, their siblings survived and ended up married.
Now you may go weep.
It’s fucking back.
midam is so cute my heart
Who kills the bugs: Both because they aren’t weenies.
Who hogs the sheets: Adam is a huge sheet hog but he does it on purpose because he thinks michael is kind of adorale when he gets aggravated, and he’ll grumble about it all morning.
Who hates mornings: Adam isn’t a huge morning person but Michael tends to play Stevie Nicks really loud in the morning while he does his workouts and it wakes Adam up. This results in a very cranky Adam.
Who’s cranky before they had their coffee: Michael does not function well at all before caffine. Adam continues to think michael is hella cute when he’s cranky. Michael does not agree.
Who’s doesn’t like their mother in law: Michael and Adam’s mom get along well, but Adam isn’t fond of Michael’s mom, who really isn’t fond of any of her sons being gay.
Who drives: Michael most of the time because he’s a control freak, but Adam takes the wheel sometimes.
Who gets horny in awkward public places: Adam likes to try to get Michael to get freaky in public just to see if he will. He is sometimes successful and that is very good times.
Who had a scene phase: SCENE. KID. ADAM.
Who wore braces: SCENE KID ADAM WITH BRACES FUCK
Who got bullied: Adam did until Michael found out and terrified some high schoolers who never picked on Adam again after that. Micahel is firecely protective.
Who collects ceramic elephants: Michael collects a lot of weird things and this is one of them. Adam thinks they’re funny and he buys michael the silliest ones he can find.
Who kills the bugs: Michael though he probably just shoos them outside more often than he kills them which makes Lucifer laugh.
Who hogs the sheets: Lucifer always needs the extra heat but Michael is prepared so he keeps extra blankets.
Who hates mornings: Lucifer would sleep 20 hours out of the day if he could get away with it but Michael would end up lecturing him. It’s the only reason he gets out of bed.
Who’s cranky before they had their coffee: Michael will fly off the handle over every little thing until he gets his.
Who’s doesn’t like their mother in law: Lucifer never liked their mother so I guess that counts?
Who drives: Michael would rather die than sit in the passenger seat with Lucifer behind the wheel.
Who gets horny in awkward public places: Michael does and he’s SO OBVIOUS but he thinks he’s not and Lucifer will always play along until he can get him alone and then be bangs him so hard that he makes Michael scream and Michael gets all embarrassed like WE’RE NEVER COMING BACK HERE AGAIN
Who had a scene phase: Michael doesn’t even know what that means.
Who wore braces: Michael, as an adult.
Who got bullied: Neither of them, they were too intimidating.
Who collects ceramic elephants: Michael does and Lucifer thinks it’s the dumbest thing in the world but that doesn’t stop him from buying more for him.